Day 52: Yesterday was a magical day for me. I woke up to Tricia Eastman, the young lady that has been transparently documenting her 30-day cleanse, gifting me a hot sold-out ticket to see the Dalai Lama speak at The Forum. Wow! Perfectly timed before we were to leave was an already scheduled appointment with Tricia for a Reiki healing. This was going to be a great day!
The core of my Reiki session with Tricia was what is called ‘cord-cutting’ where you imagine actively cutting the cords that negatively bind you to certain people in your lives. For example, there’s a person that I have been intensely angry with for three years now. Let’s call him David for the sake of keeping him anonymous.
Without getting into too many details, my general gripe with David was that I introduced him to all my friends and basically gave him carte blanche access to my life, and he ended up using that power against me in what felt like a power-grab for my life. He ended up damaging some of my relationships with friends and my ex-girlfriend. He even tried to take over my living situation when I subletted it to him, attempting to block me out from moving back in when the sublet was supposed to be over.
I have done a considerable amount of free-form writing and processing of my very “justified” anger towards David and let go of so much of it. I did this by realizing how I energetically created the perceived violation from David. I also did it by realizing that David didn’t intend to hurt me and was rather naive and acting out of weakness when he committed the hurtful actions. And I realized the lessons that were there for me to learn from the whole situation. I was in peace with the situation from an intellectual standpoint.
Yet, still when I thought of David, I felt a very visceral resentment and had to fight myself to stop the conversation I’ve had a million times in my head where I angrily tell David how he hurt me. There was still obviously more than just residue there. Tricia very expertly and lovingly helped me release this anger by giving me back my power in the situation, the power that was being drained through the cords that still attached me to David. I felt a very palpable release with the David cords cut, as well as the five other people’s cords that negatively bound me.
Certainly I was perfectly prepped to be in the presence of His Holiness the Dalai Lama! Then a strange thing occurred on the way to The Forum. I got a text from one of my closest friends who said that David had gotten him tickets to the Dalai Lama. Given that David and my friend weren’t really close friends at all, it was more than a little weird to me. When I asked my friend if David was going to be there, he said ‘Yes, so I guess we’ll have to avoid you then.’ I responded, “No way! I’m over it and I’ll shake his hand if I see him. I’ll even hug him.”
Wow, I had not had any contact with David in over 2 years, yet, now, just after this cord-cutting ritual, I was about to possibly run into David at the Dalai Lama’s gathering which I hadn’t even known I was going to 2 hours before. Ok, this was getting very interesting. I must admit I felt a fair amount of anxiety welling up inside.
Well, when we got there, The Forum was an absolute mob scene, completely sold out to the tune of 17,505 people trying to get in all at once. Traffic was backed up for a mile. Tricia walked the last quarter mile to get a jump on the tickets while I parked. After wading through all the different lines and security checks to get to will-call, I finally found Tricia and we were ready to go in. Tricia had another ticket for someone who was not there and was wondering if she should go in or not. As we approached the nearest gate into The Forum (one of maybe 30 or so), she said, “Well I can always come to the door and meet my friend with the ticket like that guy is doing”, and pointed at a dude standing just inside the door.
That dude was David. I was like ‘Holy WHAT!’. There he was, the focal point of my anger of the past two years, standing right in front of me. In a sea of 17k+ people, I had homed right into him. This was insane. I reached out my hand and shook his, and then gave him a big hug. We were both completely stunned. I don’t think he even had an idea that this was possible because my friend had not yet told him I was going to be there. We had a polite conversation that didn’t get into any of the ‘stuff’ from the past, and just stayed at the level of it being good to see each other. There was mutual Love between us.
After a few minutes, I parted from him and walked with Tricia towards the inner entrance of the Forum and broke down crying. I realized that the real reason I was at The Forum was to see David and that the Dalai Lama was essentially presiding over me resolving the most painful wound of betrayal of the last three years of my life. Overwhelmed by the Dalai Lama’s field of Love and Compassion that was exuding from all the smiling faces and the messages on the screens on stage, I knew I had to apologize to David for the incredibly intense anger that I had focused on him. Tricia hugged me as I wept.
We got to our seats which were amazing, front section of the floor right where the Dalai Lama was supposed to speak. I texted my friend to see where he was sitting and sure enough he was two rows behind me, and yes, with David. WTFingF!
The Dalai Lama was supposed to go on in 10 minutes, but the rumor was he was late. So I approached David who was standing in the aisle and looked into his eyes and said, “hey man, I’m so sorry for the anger I dumped on you. I never even gave you a chance to explain yourself and I hated you so much. I’m sorry.” Of course this led to an hour-long conversation that was full of apologies on both sides. The Dalai Lama was so kind to be fashionably late for us. By the end, I was at last truly at peace with it all.
Enjoy this little clip which captures the essential message of His Holiness yesterday: You, I, and everyone including the Dalai Lama are all the same, with the same potential and the same desires to be happy.